Ancestor work for the woman you almost became.
Somewhere in your house there is evidence of a person you did not become.
A sketchbook. A pair of pointe shoes. An acceptance letter you kept. A guitar with three strings on it.
She was real. You have her handwriting. She was certain about things in a way you have not been certain about anything since, and at some point you stopped mentioning her, because mentioning her required explaining what happened, and what happened was a life.
Most Samhain teaching this month will point you toward your ancestors. That door is locked for a great many women, for reasons ranging from adoption to estrangement to simply sitting down and feeling nothing.
This workbook opens a closer one.
At Samhain, the wall between what is and what was grows thin, and it grows thin between you and your own past selves. Those selves did not fail. They ended. Those are two different facts, and only one of them has ever been taught.
The practice inside is Morrigan’s oldest, adapted. You set an extra place at the table. You serve real food. You bring one object and one song. You ask her a single question, and the question is not why didn’t I become you.
Then you take one thing out with you, because release should not be total no matter what the witch says.
WHAT’S INSIDE:
Your Own Dead, an inventory of the selves you didn’t become
The Three Kinds of Almost, and why each one needs something different from you
Her Portrait, twelve questions that turn a vague ache back into a person
What Goes at Her Place, and Setting the Table, the full practice with a script you can read aloud
The One Question, and The Costume and the Want, which is the part that changes your week
Her Letter, for the ones who want the strange version
If Nothing Happens, because most first attempts are quiet and nobody tells you that
The Keeping Step, so you leave the table holding something
